20 truisms hardly worth mentioning:- 
Clive.
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
- We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
- War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
- I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
- Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
- You're never too old to learn something stupid.
- Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Clive.
